Friday, June 12, 2009

Brittanie vs the giant black jumping spider

So, as most of you know, I have serious spider issues. But I don't think I had actually qualified it in my own mind as a real phobia until today.

I was sitting at the computer, chatting with my dad, when a huge black spider JUMPED onto the side of the monitor, eventually crawling to the back of it. I VERY QUICKLY put Patrick, whom I had been holding on my lap, into his swing across the room.

This spider was seriously too big to squish, so I decided to go the catch-it-in-a-cup-and-throw-it-off-the-side-of-the-patio route. Saved me from actually killing the spider, which has the added benefit of no chance of being haunted by spider ghosties.

So I went and grabbed a cup, and then turned the monitor a little to see if I could reach the thing. It turned around and was watching me malevolently with its turquoise eyes ((shudder)). My hands started to shake. I sat watching it for several minutes. Neither of us moved, until I guess it finally decided I had lost my nerve and wanted to go on its merry way. I took a deep breath and tried to catch it. I didn't, but I did somehow knock of it's hind-end. The rest of the head-and-legs took off.

I had no clue where.

I gingerly sat back down at the computer, knowing there was no way it could survive long, when it peeked out from behind some of the stuff on the desk, again sitting and watching me.

Hands are shaking so bad I can't type, but I'm still managing to freak out via IM at my dad, who is very calmly talking me through finishing the thing off. He said get a broom handle. I did, and when I came back, the thing had flipped over, legs curled.

Good, Dad says. It's dead. No, my brain says. I don't ever believe spiders are dead when they're curled. I've had spiders UNcurl and run at me before. (hence the spider ghosties fear) I watch it for a couple of minutes and there is nary a twitch...but the broom would be knocking stuff off the desk and such, so I go for the vacuum.

After a couple adjustments, said spider is safely sucked up.

An hour later, I think my heart rate is mostly back to normal.


Adi said...

i always go the catching the thing and letting someone else dispose of it route, lol!! i'll catch it in a cup and make sue that the thing on the other end of the cup isn't just some measly paper cuz it could get through that! But then you can't put your hand on the paper on the other side just in case it can get through whatever it is on the other end, lol.

And I know about the ghost thing! When I lived at Lynne's one of those huge black jumping spiders lived in her door and I would catch it or kill it once every like 2 weeks and it would always come back. I know it was the same one because it was missing a leg.

HRHSpence said...

Ah, but you both lived, now didn't you?

Courtney said...

OH MY GOSH. I would have had a heart attack. I only kill the little ones. The big ones I make sure to quarantine in a room until Jason gets home to kill the sucker. YUCKY.

Glad you took care of him. You are one brave soul.

Jacalyn said...

You are WAY ahead of me! I can't even say the word or be in the same room with one. I don't think Dante's Circles of Hell account for...arachnids....

but at least it's over with right? :)

quilting queen said...

Well.... at least you didn't find out it was an olive rolling toward you. Of course, I would have been screaming my lungs out.

quilting queen said...

You didn't find it in your cheerios either. I really hate spiders.

Augie said...

OMG, I'm terrified of them too! Just as I finished reading a black bug right next to me caught my attention--luckily it was just an ant!

Mrs. Dexter said...

HATE HATE HATE spiders!!!
I probably would've done the same thing.

Aubri said...