Friday, December 31, 2010

Well, I finally did it.

I first started blogging when Erin was born 3 1/2 years ago.  Tonight, I finally got the message that I had used up the 1gb of free picture storage space, and I couldn't upload any more pictures.  I could either pay $5 a year for 20gbs, or I could make a new blog. I decided on the latter. Turns out that was for my email address not this blog specifically, so to create an entirely new email.  It's been a frustrating night.

So, anyway, click here to go to the new blog.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Let it snow!

We've got a winter storm warning today, and it's finally snowing!!  The radio just said that it'd be 5-10 inches with the south and west suburbs being hit the hardest....and we're southwest!  WOOHOO!

Erin and Patrick were excited.  They wanted to go out and play.  I decided to compromise and let them out on the porch.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The reason I am a parent.

(((this blog post is in response to this article.  I know they'll never read it, made me think and I just need to get it out.)))

There are a lot of reasons out there not to have kids.  I'm sure that any parent can come up with several.

But I don't know any parent who would have it any other way.

I was going to list off all my reasons for choosing to become a mother, but I realized that it all came down to just one thing: There is an increase of love in my life because of my children.

It's something that you can't really comprehend until you are a parent, but I saw enough evidence of it to be willing to put aside all the superficial things I can't have and do and take the plunge.

I have a good relationship with both my parents.  I've been able to see it in their eyes, both when I or my siblings did things they are proud of, but also when we did things that they would have wished we didn't.  They loved us even when we misbehaved, even when some of us decided that we disagreed with things they held most important.  It didn't matter what we did or who we chose to become, they love us.

I saw it when I babysat.  Not only the delight of the child in seeing his or her mother come into the room after an absence, but in the eyes of the mother as well.

You see, in having kids I don't have more love simply because I have more people who love me.  I have more love because I am more capable of loving others.

When I got married I didn't think I could possibly love my husband any more than I did right at that moment.  But every time I saw his awe looking at an ultrasound screen, or when he touched my growing belly, I loved him even more.  We grew closer because of what we were creating together.  I loved him more because of how he took care of me when I was more sick than I've ever been in my life.  I loved him more deeply seeing the shared grief in his eyes when Cora died and I love him ever more every time I watch him care for and play with Erin and Patrick.

And that extreme morning sickness I think made me love my children all the more.  I didn't know how much I could truly love someone I hadn't met until I became pregnant.  And as much grief as her death caused and causes me, I learned how to love more and to love better because of Cora.  And that has increased with each of her successive siblings.

I am better able to care for the needs of my husband because I have learned how to put my needs and wants aside as I've attended to the demands of my children, who could not do certain things on their own.  So I am more willing to do things for Matt that he could probably do for himself since I've learned how to put others first.  But that doesn't mean I never get anything I need because he has learned more how to care for me as well.

My capacity to receive love has increased too.  For a long time I kept part of myself guarded.  I was so afraid of being hurt I couldn't open up completely.  But Cora's death taught me that only today is guaranteed so you should give and receive all you can today.

So while my house may, indeed, be cleaner if I didn't have kids; we would probably have more money; we could go out together as often as we wanted, and all of that, I would be less of a person if I didn't have my children.  And I would not trade anything for that.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve dinner

On Sunday we were invited to Christmas dinner by a family in the ward, so I made what would have been our Christmas dinner for Christmas Eve.
Erin took pictures of me cooking
And the table.  The linens and china were from Aunt Betty.  I really miss her.  The glasses were from Grandma Naida. She said that everyone needed a set of fancy-pants glasses for special occasions.  And I certainly felt fancy-pants as I drank my Concord Grape & Black Cherry juice from them!
Couldn't figure out how to get the jello with the spoon??
And Santa's visited!  Forget cookies, we shared some apple pie with him.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

If you needed further proof that they are my children...

I found this picture of me at 18 months, and decided to compare
 I think we're all related.  lol

Monday, December 20, 2010

Early Christmas Present

Skittles is due around September 2nd

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Christmas outfits

Erin likes having her picture taken.  Patrick doesn't.  It shows.  ((both are also wearing new shoes, courtesy of Grandma Linda and Grandfather Pat))
 And Patrick's adorably disgusting morning yogurt face (before getting dressed of course)

Friday, December 17, 2010

I suppose it'll have to do

We got a dusting of snow last night...our 3rd dusting of the year.  We've had no real snowfalls yet, which is a bit disappointing.  But I decided to take the kids on a little walk with their snow boots and gloves anyway.  Of course, I didn't remember I had their gloves in my coat pockets until halfway through the  Poor little cold fingers.
Erin insisted on bringing her umbrella
Patrick kept running through the snow yelling "Doe! Doe! Doe!" (or "go! go! go!" )
He loved seeing the snow on his boots
Sometimes my shadow is the only way I get into pictures
I love Erin's boot prints
Erin told me this was "dinosaur snow" and told me to take a picture. And then she stepped on it before I could.
They were excited when we reached the playground.  Because of the shadows of the buildings around it, there was more snow
Patrick did his usual playing with the gravel thing.
And I wrote Cora's name in the snow
Which made Erin want to draw
She said this was a bird
and this was a fish
and then I showed Patrick he could throw snow
and now we're home and eating lunch and warming up fingers and toes.