Monday, August 31, 2009

Toddler seats, Petsmart, and movies

So, last Tuesday Patrick had his 6 month wellbaby check. He's a big boy. He is 26 inches long, which is in the 50th percentile, and 22lbs4oz, which is off the chart. lol But he doesn't look terribly fat, he's just very solid. He takes after me in that, I guess.

But the infant carseat had a weight limit of 22 pounds, so I had to go directly to walmart and get another seat. I bought Erin a convertible booster (it has the 5 point harness, but that can be taken off to use the car seat belt when she's big enough), and I put Patrick in Erin's old seat. He wasn't nearly as excited about it as Erin was when I first put her in it, but he's gotten used to it now, I think.
So we went to Petsmart today, to let Erin look at the animals. She wants a pet so badly. She just loved the big dogs, and the cats, of course, are the most exciting thing ever. lol
Patrick also has been sitting in the seat of carts at stores this last week, as well, since he's grown out of the infant seat.
I think all carts should be like the Sam's Club carts, with a double seat on the front. ((Erin was angry with me for making her leave the rock she picked up somewhere in the car instead of letting her take it into the store.)

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about what sort of things Erin is learning from the movie she watches. So I decided to make a list of things I've taken from them.

~It doesn't matter where you are, as long as you're with the ones you love.
~You can conquer your inner nature. You don't have to be what nature dictates that you are.
~A true friend is the kind that tries to help you, in spite of risk to himself.

Madagascar 2:
~ You can be a hero, even if you don't do things the way everyone thinks you should.
~Someone who really loves you loves the little things about you.

~You shouldn't judge someone before you get to know them.
~True beauty doesn't depend on what you look like

Shrek 2:
~Love is worth fighting for.
~Beauty doesn't guarantee happiness.

Shrek 3:
~Usually, our greatest obstacle is our own selves.
~You shouldn't let others' opinions of you dictate what you are going to be.

~You don't have to have super powers to be a hero to someone.

Kung Fu Panda:
~To make something special, you just have to believe it's special. There is no secret ingredient.
~If you believe in yourself, you can beat insurmountable odds.

Monsters, Inc.:
~ Laughter is more powerful than fear.

There are more, but I'm tired, so I'm going to leave it at that.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Mental images

I think that the mind is an amazing thing. I think that it's so amazing that I am able to see, not only the way things are, but the way things would have been, and the way things will be one day.

I look at Erin and Patrick and I have such joy in everything they do. Even on nights when they're both up multiple times and I'm falling over exhausted, I am so grateful for the snuggles and the kisses and tears I get to wipe away and fears I get to calm. I'm so grateful for being a mommy. I love watching them grow and learn new things. I love each new word that comes out of Erin's mouth, and each new thing that Patrick has conquered (getting better at the inchworm crawl. Maybe one day he'll figure the arm part out. Or maybe I'll just not have a baby that crawls normally). He's recently started blowing raspberries. And he's SO CUTE when he does it.

But in watching them I also see what should have been. Like one of those images printed on a transparency and laid over another picture, I see what life would have been like. It's not as real, or as clear, but still there, ever present. Most of the time it makes me smile. A sad smile, yes, but a smile nonetheless. I wonder if she's whispering to me what it would have been like so I can get to know her a little better. Or maybe I'm just remembering, since I knew her before we came here. I wonder if she ever wishes that she could have stayed and grown up with us, too.

But then I have this wonderful image in my mind. One that I hold onto tightly and keep close. I picture myself with my mother, and my grandmothers and my various aunts and cousins, and so many other beautiful women I've come in contact with over the past 3 years. We're waiting, tense, expectant, excited. Some come, walking. Some come, carried by figures in white. One by one, each one of us received our beautiful babies back into our arms.

Can you imagine the joy?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Say it with flowers

I ran across a beautiful tribute to angel babies a while back and I couldn't help request one for Cora. Since I haven't purchased the rights to the image at this point (I will be ordering a print), I'm just going to post a link.

Rory's Garden

Cora's is the last one. But I love this group because many of the women on my stillbirth support forum requested them at the same time, so many of them are angels I "know." I feel like Cora is there with all her friends.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The library and the smarty pants

So, first of all, I just recently read a children's fantasy book called Alcatraz and the Evil Librarians, by Brandon Sanderson. It was really great and now has me totally thinking differently about libraries.

But not enough that I don't love going to them.

Yesterday we tried to make it to story time at the library. I didn't know, however that it was held in the back room of the children's section. Didn't know that there WAS a back room. But we went and Erin had fun playing with the cushions while Patrick slept.

I really hope that Erin will love libraries and reading as much as I do. She already loves books and is doing SO good at her letters!

Sunday, August 16, 2009


Do you remember this post, in which I talked about getting live plants for my aquarium? After fighting with my fish for a couple of weeks, I decided to give up and let them dig them up. I realized the other day that there were no longer any plants floating at the top. They'd all been chewed up and such. My tank was bare again. So, I decided to go out and get more plastic plants. *sigh* Erin also got very excited about the dinosaur (triceratops skull) so I got it too. I was fairly excited about it...but now it kind of creeps me out. (lol) It's okay though, Erin LOVES it.

Here's before and after

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Erin's tutu

So I finally got her to wear it for long enough to take pics!

Monday, August 10, 2009

catching up

Thursday we went to ward park playdate. I need to go to these more often. It's nice to talk to the other moms in the ward while letting Erin wear herself out.

She was talking about the airplane that flew overShe likes the sand a lot.She couldn't figure out how to make this work but got mad when I tried to show her.Patrick, putting his own pacifier in his mouth (he got it turned around eventually)And doing pushups (he's SO CLOSE to crawling!)Erin, running down the hillThen Friday morning we went for a walk around our complex.Erin got gravel in her sandals at the playground, and took them off, dumped them out, and put them back on all by herself.And Patrick hung out in the strollerAfter lunch we made cookies. I remember loving making cookies with my mom, so I decided to let Erin help. She had SO much fun! She was afraid of the mixer at first, but when I put her hands on it first and then turned it on she was okay. She was so proud of herself!And Patrick hung out in his bouncy. He hangs out a lot.And then at the request of Grandma Hill, pictures of Erin on her rocking horse that Grandma gave her on her birthday.And Erin talking about dinner

(I need to get better at posting these the day I take them!)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My wonderful friend Aubri

I can't tell you how much I love Aubri. I fully believe that she was sent to me at a time when I really needed the kind of person she is. She's also an angel sister, so she gets that part of my life more than some others.

Anyway, yesterday she emailed me a present. She had gone to the beach and had done this:
It's totally going in Cora's scrapbook. I can't tell you how much I love having pictures to add to Cora's scrapbook! Anyway, I just had to share. Thank you thank you thank you Aubri!

Silly? Maybe a little

Meet Gana the Gorilla

Last year, Gana's 3 month old baby died suddenly in her arms. Pictures of her carrying the body circled the world. Those pictures broke my heart. It was hard to see such open grief, even if she is "just" a gorilla.

But the picture I posted was taken just recently. Gana has given birth again. I am SO happy for her. Nearly as happy as I am when I hear of other angel mothers who have had a baby again after losing their sweet little babies.

So it may be a little silly, but I like seeing proof that there can be a little happiness after such tragedy. Even for a gorilla.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Desitin war paint

So, Erin found the tube of Desitin and decided to war paint her little brother.
So I took it away. And she climbed up and got it AGAIN.
So I really hid it good.

I've heard stories of Jenny doing that to Matt though, so it must be a Cannady thing.

Monday, August 3, 2009