So, I have realized lately just how much this pregnancy is mimicking my pregnancy with Cora. I find my thoughts dwelling on her more, and what she would be like. I've been thinking about how much my grief has changed in the last 2 years and 9 months.
I still miss her terribly, but now I can remember with a sweet sad smile instead of the aching knifing grief. One of my most vivid memories is of sitting in the bathtub because my lower back was KILLING me and just watching my belly move. I was in awe. I still am, actually. I don't think it'll ever cease to amaze me.
So, I spent the day with Danica, and her son Jensen is a week younger than Cora would have been. I found myself watching him and just wondering, what would she be like? Would she still have her curly red hair, or would it have fallen out like Adrienne's?
Would she be the stubborn girl I thought she'd be?
I know I will get to know her someday, and for now I'm content to wait, but...I miss her.
Of course, I probably wouldn't have Erin if she had stayed, so I no longer wish that she could be here. I'll get Cora back one day. I know this. And I'm so grateful that I do.
So today Erin and I met up with my friend Danica and her two kids, to meet Matt and her husband Dave downtown for lunch (since Matt and Dave get off early on Fridays).
We took the light rail train, so we didn't have to drive through traffic. I stopped by Walmart and bought and umbrella stroller just for the occasion (although, I've been planning on buying one for a while now. The other one just is too bulky.)
We had to take a bridge to cross the freeway from the park-and-ride lot to the train station, and Erin loved being able to see all the cars below us. She loves cars. I'm not sure if it's because she knows the word for it, or because she loves the cars themselves, but she always gets excited and points them out (and since we have another freeway behind our apartment complex that you can see from our apartment, she does this frequently).
But she didn't like the train too much. I tried to pull her out of her stroller to put her on my lap and she got really upset. She needed to be strapped into the seat and was holding on for dear life for most of the trip.
Unlike Danica's little Lilly (who is 17 months), who is a very adventurous child. We had a hard time keeping her sat down in her seat so she wouldn't fall off!
She did end up letting me hold her about 3/4 of the way through the ride, but I had to hold on to her very tightly. My poor timid little girl.
We had fun walking around downtown Denver for a bitAnd had lunch at Noodles & Co. I'd never been there before, and it was so yummy! But let me tell you, by the time we got home, I was completely beat. I'm not planning on moving much from the couch for the rest of the day.
So, Erin and I ran a bunch of errands today. We started off getting her a couple new pairs of shoes (sneakers and dress shoes), and then went to the Farmer's market. That place was AMAZING. I got a cucumber, a red bell pepper, a green bell pepper, a lime, two sweet onions, a tomato, an avocado AND a pound of strawberries for $7.17. Yeah. I'm serious.
So then we were off to Sam's Club, and we had lunch there. Erin had fun with her massive hot dog.(unfortunately it didn't agree with her so well)
And we made a stop at Walmart for a few things I DIDN'T need in bulk, and ended up getting some things for Baby Boy.
So, our glass patio door leaked cold air pretty badly. We had maintenance look at it, and they called the glass people to come in. Apparently the thermal seals were deteriorated and the weather stripping was gone, so they replaced it all. They replaced the glass even! Erin was fascinated.
And the panicking starts... Okay, I know nothing is going to happen to this little guy. I really do. But this pregnancy is starting to mimic my pregnancy with Cora and it makes me just a tad nervous. Okay, more than a tad. Hopefully Matt will get the info from HR that I need today so I can take it in tomorrow and hopefully have an appointment early next week! Seeing a doctor will help SO MUCH.
Today is Matt's first day of work. I know he's been excited/nervous. Apparently nerves won out this morning because he said he was awake on and off from 3:30am, worried he'd oversleep. He even said he dreamed he woke up in a panic because he'd overslept! >_< Our friend Dave came and picked him up at 6:30am and they went together to the park-and-ride to catch the train to downtown Denver. Needless to say, he was up and ready with time to spare.
So, since I'm now all alone again, and I was awake since 5:30am (when Matt got up) and Erin has decided her new wake-up time is around 7/7:30 instead of 8/8:30, I got bored. I was showered and dressed by 9am. Erin took a shower with me because I let her eat her own yogurt for breakfast (she did rather well, considering!), and, well, that's how I knew she wouldn't get in trouble while I showered! So, since I was dressed and it wasn't lunch time yet, I decided we'd go run some errands. We needed to go pick up some sugar and eggs and cottage cheese (all for different things), and I thought we'd go to a couple other stores and "window shop." I went to JoAnn's to look for fabric and patterns for Easter dresses (I'm excited about not wearing maternity clothes anymore! I've had the same maternity wardrobe for 3 pregnancies. I think I'm going to DI all but my very favorites and get a whole new wardrobe next time.) And then I went to Babys R Us to see if they had any cute outfits for a coming home outfit for Patrick. Well, my favorites were all either preemie, or 3-6 month sized. What happened to the newborn or 0-3????
And then we went to Walmart and got the groceries. I got some M&Ms while I was there. When I got home, I put some in a little bowl for Erin just to eat on her own, you know, since I'm on a "let's let her do it herself" kick. lol.
And the weather has been crazy lately! Last week it was in the 70's. Right now, it's 15* and looks like this:
((and as one little addition, Erin just handed me a DVD from the shelf. I asked, "oh, do you want to watch that movie?" and she responded, "Yeah, da moomie." It's the first X-men movie if you were wondering. It's near the end of the shelf and right in reach.))
Our insurance starts on February 2. It will cover the end of my pregnancy and delivery and such. But I won't even be able to get a temporary card until that day.
Since I'm so far along, nobody will take me as a new patient until they see my proof of insurance. I can't even schedule an appointment for Feb. 2 and take in my card that day, because they want to look at my plan and see if it's "acceptable" before they have me as an appointment, to guarantee that they'll get paid, no matter what.
But even if I didn't have insurance, wouldn't I have to pay them? I don't get it. But I managed to talk to the office's insurance person and she and I have maybe worked something out, so that I can at least get in on Feb. 2 instead of waiting a week (she said, "well, yeah, you need to see a doctor!").
I'm just glad that Matt's starting next Monday so our insurance starts on Feb. 2. He was supposed to start on Feb. 2, and the insurance wouldn't start until the first Monday of the first full month after starting (so, March 2, my due date!)
So, we switched my sim card into a different phone (a free cheapie we got from AT&T when we switched) and now my phone tells me when I have a call. YAY!
We got a glider rocker on clearance at Walmart today! Hooray!!!!
There are a lot of bunnies that live around our complex. Erin loves them. I'm going to try to get a picture.
And, just for Dad, I have to mention: Erin's word for water is "Lo." I don't know where she got it, because I don't call water "l'eau." Matt and I have been working on it and have upgraded it to "lo-wah." I don't get why it isn't "wah-lo" but who knows? It cracks me up. It took me forever to figure out what she was asking for!
So, my phone has decided that it doesn't receive phone calls. So please leave me a message if it goes straight to voicemail, because it's not even listing missed calls. I've been checking my phone periodically.
So, due to some sort of bureaucratic nonsense, we won't actually have internet until Monday the 19th. But we have some wonderful friends who are letting me borrow their internet for a bit, so here's some pictures of our new apartment. I didn't get a picture of the outside of our building...sorry.
View from the front door The kitchen (the washer/dryer is behind the door). It's on the right from the front door. Erin's bathroom (on the left from the front door)
Erin's room The "dining" area. It'd be nice to have a real table. lol
The living room. We'll eventually have a couch....
So, most of my experience of Wyoming is driving through it. And wildlife. It holds a special place in my heart because Grand Teton National Park (and therefore Jenny Lake) are in this state.
I'm sitting in a room at a Super 8 in Laramie. It's nearly 8am, and I think I'm mostly recovered from a rather harrowing drive yesterday. While there were patches of snow, the roads were mostly clear, so that wasn't the trouble. Have you ever heard that Wyoming is really WINDY???? Well, it is. And the stretch of road between Rock Springs and Laramie is killer. It didn't help that it was dark. I hate driving at night.
So, at one point we passed a sign that said "high wind area" with a windsock on it. The windsock was completely vertical and taut. I thought "uh oh."
Further down the road we passed a "road closed when flashing, return to Rock Springs" sign. I'm assuming for when the road is snowed in. Well, it was flashing and I was confused and almost panicked, but the big sign said "Severe winds, advised no light or empty trailers."
Okay, in a "high wind area" when they call the wind "severe," they mean it. We got out at a rest stop at one point (Erin's diaper needed to be changed and she was letting the entire state know), and the wind nearly knocked me over. I wasn't ready for it. And when I got back IN my car, I almost couldn't shut the door. I had to brace my leg against the side and put my weight into my pull. It was shortly after that that Matt saw two flipped semis. I saw the emergency vehicle with one (flashing lights are hard to miss) but I couldn't tell what had happened, and completely missed the other. Matt says it's because he was higher and could therefore see more. I think it's just because he can see better in the dark. But I'm glad I didn't see them. I was worried enough about Matt and the Uhaul as it was.
I was SO GLAD to make it to Laramie with both of us in one piece.
As far as wildlife goes, I had to stop on the freeway yesterday for 3 deer who were crossing. It was before it got completely dark, so I saw them with enough time to stope safely. I've never even seen deer on the road, let alone had them cross in front of me. They were cute. (Incidently, WY is also the location of the only place I've ever hit an animal. A bird. I was driving with Matt back from Michigan, and after praying for help to stay away, it dived in front of my car and scared me SO BAD. But I woke up. I will always be thankful for that little bird.)
Okay, I'm just blabbering now, so I will do a tag that I promised my friend Bree that I would do, even though I don't really like them. I'm not going to tag anyone in return.
8 favorite TV Shows (in no particular order) 1. Fringe 2. The Office 3. Bones 4. Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 5. Man Vs. Wild 6. House 7. Fraggle Rock 8. The Colbert Report
8 things I did yesterday 1. Drove from Idaho Falls, ID to Laramie, WY 2. See #1 3. See #1 4. See #1 5. See #1 6. See #1 7. See #1 8. See #1
8 things on my wish list 1. Make it to Denver with no incidents 2. check into our apartment, and it's not terrible (I'm sort of afraid of this) 3. Erin doesn't flip out to get into the car AGAIN today 4. I really wish I could go to my friends' Marc and Ingrid's sealing...but...that's not going to happen. It's tomorrow (I think?) 5. Health for all my family and friends 6. To go to my friend Jared's wedding, but that's in March, and well, I'll have just had a baby. 7. To pay off our debt 8. To be able to make friends easily
Okay, so here's the update. Matt called our new apartment complex yesterday and arranged it for us to move in immediately, so this morning we are headed on our way to Denver. Tonight we're going to stop in Laramie or Cheyenne (hopefully we make that far). It's supposed to snow, but only a little, so we're hoping that if there's a lot we miss it (prayingprayingpraying).
It was kind of traumatizing for Erin, I think. She sort of had a little meltdown yesterday morning as I disassembled her crib (don't worry, I did it all while sitting so it wasn't like it was any major effort. And that word disassemble...makes me thing of Short Circuit). At one point I found her curled up on the front room floor, clutching her bear with a blanket over her head and it just broke my heart. She went over to my friend Aubrey's place at 10am and I went to pick her up at 8pm. It took us THAT LONG to get everything into the truck and cleaned. I will be forever grateful for the 3 couples in the ward that came over (at different times) to help. I think I would have completely fallen apart if I had to do all that on my own. And by the time we got to Idaho Falls it was 11:30, and Erin had fallen asleep in the car but woke up when I pulled her out and positively screamed for an hour. I couldn't get her to fall asleep again on her own, so I had to lay with her to get her to sleep and transport her to the portable crib thing after the fact.
Oh, have I mentioned that I didn't get to bed until 12:45am and it's not 7:15 am and I can't sleep???? Argh. Hopefully that doesn't affect the drive. I'm eating a poptart and then I'm going to go lay back down and try to sleep for another hour.
So we should be in Denver sometime tomorrow. Please pray for a safe trip for us!! If you would like our new address, please call/email me!