Monday, October 6, 2008

How did I get so lucky?

So I was sitting on the couch today, working on one of my various projects, holding a sleeping Erin. I looked down at her sweet face, and was suddenly overwhelmed by gratitude for the tremendous blessing that she is.

How did I get so lucky to get her? She's so sweet and so loving, and so dang cute. (I know it's not just the mom in me saying that!) What did I do to deserve such a special little spirit to come to me?

Just before she was born I had so much anxiety. Part of it was worry that I wouldn't get to take her home, either, but most of it was an overwhelming feeling that I was completely incapable of being a good mother. I didn't really realize how much the desire to do anything for her would heighten my ability to actually do what's best for her. I'm not the perfect all. There are many things that I think back to later and think "maybe it would have been better if I'd done it this way..." But every time I start feeling hard on myself for not being that "perfect" mother I want to be, the spirit whispers to me "You don't have to be perfect. Just do your best, and I'll take care of the rest."

I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father for trusting me enough to give me my sweet children (all 3 of them). I'm so grateful that He is patient enough with me to help me through my imperfection, to help me figure out what to do when Erin is screaming her face off and I can't get her to stop, and to help me have patience through the time when she's just crying to cry.

Being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

How did I get so lucky?

1 comment:

sweetpea#1 said...

I know how you feel. I have had many moments where I have looked down on my girls sleeping and been struck with the depth of beauty they possess. I have also been just amazed that I was chosen to raise them and bring them into the world. It is enough to teach a huge lesson in gratitude and love.