Monday, December 15, 2008

I am so blessed.

You know, it's interesting to see small blessings in my life. Even with the loss of Cora. I always said to myself, "At least she was easy to come by." I always was glad that she wasn't the result of years of failed trying, and doing IVF. At least she was easy to come by.

So when Nat joined my stillbirth forum it broke my heart into a million little pieces. Nat lost her Devin with 4 weeks until her due date. Devin was the result of a second IVF attempt. The first had failed. He died because a fiber of his amniotic sac came loose and wrapped around his umbilical cord, like a hair, cutting off circulation.

Well, yesterday they just did the embryo transfer of yet another IVF. She has been added to my list of people that I'm praying will get pregnant (or that will have safe pregnancies), and has already experienced one small blessing/miracle in the process. The meds made her hyper-ovulate, which means that she ended up with 38 poor-quality eggs, instead of the 10 or so good ones they wanted. But out of that, they got two really good embryos (they're only transferring one). So now, we just wait. And pray.

It's funny that my support forums have given me so many new people to pray for. I wish I could do more.

But my prayers for her and others makes me reflect on how blessed I am myself. Yes, I had to give Cora back to Heavenly Father before I really even got to hold her, but even in that I was so blessed in small circumstances. I am so grateful for all those small blessings which He gives me daily, that seem so much a part of "normal" life that sometimes I don't notice. But I AM so very grateful. Even when being pregnant makes me feel horrible, I'm glad that it happens easily. It breaks my heart that it isn't that way for everyone. I wish it could be. I pray for it every day.

No comments: