Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Maternal guilt

Why do we do this to ourselves? It seems like I can't do anything without feeling guilt of some sort.

Patrick had macaroni and cheese for the first time for lunch yesterday, and he LOVED it. And as I was laughing at him while watching him eat, I felt guilty for not giving him something healthier to eat.

Erin's been very cranky lately, and I've been having headaches again (I think they're hormonal, and I think my body is trying to come out of stasis). The two are not a good combination. I hate to say it, but there's been a fair amount of yelling going on...on BOTH sides. Erin yells at me just as much. I feel guilty about that, I do, and I'm really trying to be better.

I'm trying to get out of my head. I think it's so easy for mothers to feel so guilty about not doing everything right. I think it's easy to forget that imperfection is part of being human and that our little failures aren't the important thing, the important thing is the effort to improve ourselves.

Anyway, this is more of a vent than anything. Just trying to get myself to stop dwelling on the things that I do WRONG and start thinking about the things that I do right. My kids are happy and healthy, I must not be doing too terrible of a job, right?


sweetpea#1 said...

When I look at those pictures of your beautiful son, what I see is a sparkle and joy. That is because of you. Your love gives him that sparkle and joy and Erin has that same sparkle. You are an AMAZING mother. I go through that same ticker tape of all that I could be doing better all the time. At the end of the day, I see four kids who are unconditionally loved and quite resilliant little stinkers. Mine go through times when I am quite frustrated with life and it is just part of life. Children are designed to love and forgive and we are designed to love and forgive. And hey(!), kids LOVE mac'n'cheese and they love greasy, nasty chicken nuggets lol. Healthy food happens all the time, but good ol' nasty mac'n'cheese is just plane fun. Enjoy how much he loves it and remember how amazing you truly are. Hang in there. BIG, BIG, BIG HUG!

Amber D. said...

Are you kidding me? You blog so much about every thing the kids do that you make me look bad when I post 2 times a month. lol. You can add some peas to the mac and cheese and sometimes you just need a little break from cooking. For your enjoyment: I will be holding Lily in my arms and not paying attention to her. She will grab the sides of my face and turn my head toward her and say, "Mommy, Look at me! Look at me! I need ... okay?!" lol, I wonder where she got that from. The big thing that helps me is that God chose me to be their mother for a reason, the same reason you have Erin and Patrick. oh, and also that they can't remember things from this young, maybe when they are 3 it will be a different story so enjoy that little bit of knowledge. You are an Amazing Mom! It just wouldn't be normal to run at 100% all the time. We wouldn't need to be here on Earth.

Amber D. said...

See, I just check, I have 27 posts for the year and you have 191, lol. You're a good Mommy and record all the important things, I post when I think of it, which isn't often. Thanks for being such a good example though! It's made me better.

HRHSpence said...


You're a great mom. Quit worrying about the little stuff.