Cannady Kids

Well, I finally did it.

2010-12-31T20:58:00.000-08:00

I first started blogging when Erin was born 3 1/2 years ago. Tonight, I finally got the message that I had used up the 1gb of free picture storage space, and I couldn't upload any more pictures. I could either pay $5 a year for 20gbs, or I could make a new blog. I decided on the latter. Turns out that was for my email address not this blog specifically, so to create an entirely new email. It's been a frustrating night.

So, anyway, click here to go to the new blog.

Let it snow!

2010-12-30T13:14:00.000-08:00

We've got a winter storm warning today, and it's finally snowing!! The radio just said that it'd be 5-10 inches with the south and west suburbs being hit the hardest....and we're southwest! WOOHOO!

Erin and Patrick were excited. They wanted to go out and play. I decided to compromise and let them out on the porch.

The reason I am a parent.

2010-12-28T12:41:00.000-08:00

(((this blog post is in response to this article. I know they'll never read it, but...it made me think and I just need to get it out.)))

There are a lot of reasons out there not to have kids. I'm sure that any parent can come up with several.

But I don't know any parent who would have it any other way.

I was going to list off all my reasons for choosing to become a mother, but I realized that it all came down to just one thing: There is an increase of love in my life because of my children.

It's something that you can't really comprehend until you are a parent, but I saw enough evidence of it to be willing to put aside all the superficial things I can't have and do and take the plunge.

I have a good relationship with both my parents. I've been able to see it in their eyes, both when I or my siblings did things they are proud of, but also when we did things that they would have wished we didn't. They loved us even when we misbehaved, even when some of us decided that we disagreed with things they held most important. It didn't matter what we did or who we chose to become, they love us.

I saw it when I babysat. Not only the delight of the child in seeing his or her mother come into the room after an absence, but in the eyes of the mother as well.

You see, in having kids I don't have more love simply because I have more people who love me. I have more love because I am more capable of loving others.

When I got married I didn't think I could possibly love my husband any more than I did right at that moment. But every time I saw his awe looking at an ultrasound screen, or when he touched my growing belly, I loved him even more. We grew closer because of what we were creating together. I loved him more because of how he took care of me when I was more sick than I've ever been in my life. I loved him more deeply seeing the shared grief in his eyes when Cora died and I love him ever more every time I watch him care for and play with Erin and Patrick.

And that extreme morning sickness I think made me love my children all the more. I didn't know how much I could truly love someone I hadn't met until I became pregnant. And as much grief as her death caused and causes me, I learned how to love more and to love better because of Cora. And that has increased with each of her successive siblings.

I am better able to care for the needs of my husband because I have learned how to put my needs and wants aside as I've attended to the demands of my children, who could not do certain things on their own. So I am more willing to do things for Matt that he could probably do for himself since I've learned how to put others first. But that doesn't mean I never get anything I need because he has learned more how to care for me as well.

My capacity to receive love has increased too. For a long time I kept part of myself guarded. I was so afraid of being hurt I couldn't open up completely. But Cora's death taught me that only today is guaranteed so you should give and receive all you can today.

So while my house may, indeed, be cleaner if I didn't have kids; we would probably have more money; we could go out together as often as we wanted, and all of that, I would be less of a person if I didn't have my children. And I would not trade anything for that.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-26T08:54:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve dinner

2010-12-24T20:10:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we were invited to Christmas dinner by a family in the ward, so I made what would have been our Christmas dinner for Christmas Eve.

Erin took pictures of me cooking

And the table. The linens and china were from Aunt Betty. I really miss her. The glasses were from Grandma Naida. She said that everyone needed a set of fancy-pants glasses for special occasions. And I certainly felt fancy-pants as I drank my Concord Grape & Black Cherry juice from them!

Couldn't figure out how to get the jello with the spoon??

And Santa's visited! Forget cookies, we shared some apple pie with him.

If you needed further proof that they are my children...

2010-12-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

I found this picture of me at 18 months, and decided to compare

I think we're all related. lol

Early Christmas Present

2010-12-20T17:13:00.001-08:00

Skittles is due around September 2nd

Christmas outfits

2010-12-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

Erin likes having her picture taken. Patrick doesn't. It shows. ((both are also wearing new shoes, courtesy of Grandma Linda and Grandfather Pat))

And Patrick's adorably disgusting morning yogurt face (before getting dressed of course)

I suppose it'll have to do

2010-12-17T11:24:00.000-08:00

We got a dusting of snow last night...our 3rd dusting of the year. We've had no real snowfalls yet, which is a bit disappointing. But I decided to take the kids on a little walk with their snow boots and gloves anyway. Of course, I didn't remember I had their gloves in my coat pockets until halfway through the walk...lol Poor little cold fingers.

Erin insisted on bringing her umbrella

Patrick kept running through the snow yelling "Doe! Doe! Doe!" (or "go! go! go!" )

He loved seeing the snow on his boots

Sometimes my shadow is the only way I get into pictures

I love Erin's boot prints

Erin told me this was "dinosaur snow" and told me to take a picture. And then she stepped on it before I could.

They were excited when we reached the playground. Because of the shadows of the buildings around it, there was more snow

Patrick did his usual playing with the gravel thing.

And I wrote Cora's name in the snow

Which made Erin want to draw

She said this was a bird

and this was a fish

and then I showed Patrick he could throw snow

and now we're home and eating lunch and warming up fingers and toes.

So awesome

2010-12-13T14:01:00.001-08:00

The difference between boys and girls

2010-12-08T15:19:00.000-08:00

We went on a walk today, and Patrick had to take a stroller just like Erin. But, he doesn't treat it like Erin does. lol

Erin spends her time making sure that Bunny is comfortable. She wraps him, buckles him in, asks if he's okay. lol Patrick, however, does wheelies and picks the whole thing up like a macho man.

Erin plays on the slide...

Patrick throws rocks...

Erin gets really excited about geese and Christmas decorations....Patrick could care less.

I love seeing how different they are every day.

A breakthrough

2010-12-07T11:09:00.000-08:00

Erin had no accidents yesterday and went pee in the potty twice. Today, she's gone once and still no accidents.

What's the difference? Instead of rewarding her with chocolate I've started giving her pennies. I don't know what it is about pennies that she loves so much but she gets so excited. She's stolen Patrick's Mater bank to put them in (she's getting her own for Christmas), and she just loves getting them.

She doesn't tell me she has to go. I have to remind her. And it takes her about 20 minutes of sitting there before she goes. But I'll take it!

Fun with the Christmas tree

2010-11-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

I wanted to get a picture of the kids with the tree, just in case we don't end up getting one of the family for cards this year. Patrick wasn't having it. But Erin and I had fun anyway.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-29T15:03:00.000-08:00

I'm finding it hard to find enough time sitting at the computer to upload pics and post. I apologize for that.

We went down to Lamar, CO Thursday morning to visit with our friends Aubrey and Dave and their daughters Myla and Savanna.

We had a great dinner

And then the kids all had a blast playing

Friday we helped put up their tree.

((It's hard to believe Erin's only a month older than Myla, isn't it? ^ ))

And then Patrick threw up on me. After we got that all cleaned up, I pretty much just sat with him for the rest of the day. They had some missionaries come over to give them something for their lesson on Sunday (they teach 17/18 year old Sunday School), and we borrowed their oil to give him a blessing, and thankfully there has been no further throwing up (though he still isn't acting like he feels completely normal)

But it was a great Thanksgiving, and we are so glad we were able to see our friends.

I can't believe it's been a week!

2010-11-15T14:35:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry! So, I'm just going to upload a bunch of pics.

This is what happened when Patrick got ahold of pen when I was in the shower.

We went out running errands a while back, and Patrick loved this hat.

We stopped at BK for lunch in the middle of our errands. Patrick wouldn't let us take off his crown for the rest of the day.

Erin wasn't all that thrilled with hers.

Saturday Matt spent all day at a LAN party for a friend's birthday, so the kids and I decided to go a couple places. On the way from the library to Petsmart, we heard on the radio that there was a new Christmas store open that had Santa and Mrs. Claus there every day. So we went to go see Santa. Erin was SO excited.

Patrick wasn't. We had to trick him into a picture. Mrs. Claus to him to show him a moving Santa figurine, and Santa snuck into the pic. lol

Then we went to Petsmart. The kids love looking at the doggies playing at the petshotel

and the kitties for adoption. This guy is my favorite right now. He's polydactyl too. His paws look weird. But he's such a sweet kitty.

It's getting pretty cold, so we now have to bundle up in the car.

And since it snowed this morning, Erin wore her snow boots! It didn't stick though.

Day 8

2010-11-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

First off, I have some new pictures but the desktop is having issues and for some reason the laptop isn't allowing facebook or blogger to access the new pictures on the card. I can see it if I open with the basic photo viewer, but if I try to upload it, no go. GRRR!

My short term goals? Stop procrastinating. Basically, do laundry and dishes promptly (and get everything put away when it's folded!) I'm feeling a lot better than I have in the past couple months (both physically and emotionally), probably because I've gotten 3 uninterrupted nights' sleep in a row (hope that continues!), and things are finally beginning to annoy me. I cleaned my kitchen today, and realized that there were orange handprints on my laundry room door! I'm assuming it was from pumpkin carving, when Patrick was playing with the pumpkin guts. But I hadn't seen them until today!

I'd also like to lose 8lbs this month. That would get me down to an even 180. lol

So hopefully Matt can fix the desktop tonight after he gets home, and I'll be able to upload pictures!

Impact

2010-11-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

I admit this one made me sad. The truthful answer is my children. All 3 of them. They've each changed me in their own way and I can't way one has had a bigger impact than another. I know some would think that Cora and her death did, and while that was huge, Erin and Patrick didn't have any less of an impact.

The problem is that I don't have one picture of all 3 of them. So this will be the closest I get.

The stuffed puppy is one we bought for Cora's birthday last year. It came with a code to name a star after her, and it is wearing a her name bracelet around its paw. And the picture was taken on her birthday.

Superheros

2010-11-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

Day 6: Your favorite super hero and why

I think it's a tie between Batman and Ironman. Which is really funny because I hadn't even heard of Ironman before the movie came out. And no, they're not my favorites because they have the coolest movies (but they do have the coolest movies!). I like them because they don't actually have superpowers. Both Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark are perfectly normal (albeit very rich) men. The things they do they do from their own intelligence and ingenuity (and endless resources, lol, so I guess wealth is their superpower?)

I guess to me it just tells people that you don't have to be able to fly, or sling webs, or have metal bones to be able to help people. You can just be the normal you, and still do extraordinary things.

4 years ago today

2010-11-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

I saw Erin for the first time.

I christened her Jellybean, which was eventually shortened to Jelly. It was a bittersweet day, as it was Cora's half birthday, but I felt hope that day for the first time since Cora died. I had been so terrified that I'd go in and they would say that there was something wrong. But everything was perfect.

Day 5: A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

I actually had a hard time deciding this. I narrowed it down to 2.

Here's us at the Grand Canyon in June

And then Jenny Lake. This is the day we spread Cora's ashes. My heart longs to go back.

Day 4

2010-11-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

Day 4: A habit you wish you didn't have.

Is procrastination a habit? Because that's probably the one. I have tried and tried and tried to set up a chore schedule so I could get dishes and laundry and vacuuming done promptly but it just doesn't happen. *sigh*

Day 3

2010-10-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends

I don't have many good recent pictures. This was in June, and I'm really sad we didn't get a good picture of us all lined up.

Here's some older ones of us

I really wish we all lived closer together. We've all spread apart. That's life though, right?

Ward party and day 2

2010-10-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

My previous blog was "Erin's Life." Once I conceived Patrick it wasn't just about Erin anymore, so I created this one. The url is actually "mbcannadykids," and the mb stands for Matt & Brittanie. So not only are they our kids, but they are currently the only kids of their generation that carry the Cannady name, so they're also the only Cannady kids in the family.

On to the fun part! It was our ward chili cookoff, costume party and trunk or treat. Apparently there wasn't a costume contest this year, which made me sad. But everyone said that if there had been we would have one so I guess that makes us the winners of the unoffical costume contest? lol

Erin loved trick-or-treating. She was so excited. Patrick stayed with me and "helped" me pass out candy (which actually meant he stole the car decorations and made me feed him candy between trick-or-treaters.)

Company party and pumpkins

2010-10-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Matt's company party was this morning. We had a lot of fun

Sadly, we didn't win the contest. Because this girl did. I'm not too upset, she totally deserved it.

We carved pumpkins today too, for the first time in a few years.

Patrick decided it would be a great snack, apparently.

Erin stole one of my large pumpkin pieces to carve on with Matt.

and the finished products

Day 1

2010-10-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Here's my most recent picture of myself, taken Sept. 19 (Talk Like A Pirate Day)

1. I hate listing interesting facts. I don't think I'm that interesting.
2. Of the 9 blogs I'm listed as an author on on my blogger dashboard, I only post on 4 with any regularity.
3. I have belonged to the mommy forums I'm on for 4 years, 3 months and 3 days, and have made 28,900 posts.
4. I apparently have no life.
5. I don't actually like to sew at all. I just love the being able to answer "Oh, I made this." when someone asks "Where did you get that?"
6. I don't really think I sew all that well either. But by the time I'm done with something you haven't seen how many times I've had to take seams apart! lol
7. Erin and I share the same Chinese Zodiac sign.
8. My doctor says I have a high tolerance for pain.
9. I love fresh from the garden tomatoes.
10. I don't particularly enjoy cooking either. But I do love it when people say "This is so good."
11. Apparently I need a lot of positive feedback from people. lol
12. I'm terrified that since Erin and Patrick are so positively adorable, our next one will be really ugly.
13. I'm reading "Way of Kings" by Brandon Sanderson right now. It's 1001 pages long. I'm tempted to leave him a message on his facebook page telling him just how hard it is for a mom of 2 little kids to make it through a monstrosity like that. lol
14. My favorite pair of shoes right now are a pair of high-heeled boots Matt picked out.
15. My chiropractor's office is one of my favorite places to be. (and I have an appointment in half an hour so I'd better get off!)

Okay, I'm going to do it.

2010-10-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

So, I've seen this going around some friends' blogs, and decided to do it. lol. Maybe I should have started Nov. 1st, but oh well.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about blogs and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

He didn't want to be left out

2010-10-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

I decided to paint my nails for Matt's company party tomorrow this morning, since I won't have time tomorrow morning and who knows if I'll have time later today? Which meant that Erin wanted hers painted too.

And then Patrick wanted to be included in our party. I didn't paint his fingers, since not only will toes not show, but he still sucks his thumb, and I don't want him sticking painted nails in his mouth.

Playing dressup

2010-10-27T16:30:00.000-07:00

He needs a name!

2010-10-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

So I don't normally name fish. But this is the most personable betta I've ever had. He comes over every time you pass the bowl, and will sit and watch you as long as you sit and watch him.

But I'm no good at naming fishies. So please, I need suggestions!

Edited to update: Thanks for your suggestions! A forum friend suggested Finley, and it felt like he was telling me his name. So Finley it is!

The Potty Chronicles vol. 3

2010-10-21T18:04:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been doing a lot of thinking, reading, talking to people about potty training and things I can do differently, praying for inspiration and ways to keep from being frustrated, and thinking about why I'm going about things the way I am.

Well, it all sort of hit me this afternoon. Erin wet her pants. We went into the bathroom, I helped her pull off her pants, and then went to clean up the trail on the carpet. When I got back into the bathroom, Erin looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "Pweeze diaper Mommy? I not want panties." I admit I teared up myself, poor thing. I'd been so focussed on how stressing it was for me, I hadn't thought about what it's doing to her. And she gets incredibly upset when she has an accident. So I put her in a diaper.

I've spent all afternoon thinking about it some more. So many people have said that going cold turkey to panties will help, that after wetting for a couple days they'd get the idea. And Erin truly does love her panties. But I just don't think we can keep going the way we are. I also put her in panties because she's still battling the same rash she's had for several months (though no more boils since we switched brands thank goodness), and she's been doing so much better since spending most of her days in panties. And there are other reasons, but I'm not going to go there.

Anyway, so I've decided I'll still use my timer, and still take her to the bathroom every so often and have her sit there, and give her chocolate, and celebrate when she goes in the potty. I'm just going to have her in diapers in the interim so that she's not so traumatized by the accidents. I'll put her in panties again when she's going in the potty fairly reliably.

I hate to say my dad was right, but yeah, you were right Dad.

Sunny fall afternoon

2010-10-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

The weather is gorgeous today. So I opened all the windows and the screen door, so obviously the kids went out.

Also, I had the kids draw in Nyssa's birthday card. Erin drew a cloud, a marshmallow and rainbow. So I had to take a picture and share.

My day so far

2010-10-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Matt bullied me out of bed at 6:30 this morning, just in time for him to leave for work. I guess it's better than me sleeping in until 9am again. Especially since I had a chiropractor appointment at 9:30, and had to do all my grocery shopping as well.

Well, we were out the door at 8:30 am and went down to Sunflower to get all our fruits and veggies.

Erin likes to carry the bag and put our stuff in it as we walk (and make weird faces)

Patrick just enjoyed fruit snacks

I was really tempted to get the cauldron cakes. Think there's a Harry Potter fan on staff?

Yummy yummy fruits and veggies (yes, we're going to make guacamole!!)

So then we drove up to the chiropractor's office. I've loved driving this road 3 times a week. So pretty.

The kids love the playroom in at the chiropractors office. Erin gets so excited to "go back doctor and pway wiff toys!"

Then we took a quick trip to petsmart to get some more snails for Erin's tank to replace the ones that died.

And then to Sam's club. I love the double seats on their carts! Spent a lot today. Occasionally I have to replace everything that lasts for a while, lol

And then to Walmart's MickyD's for lunch (I wish they had something better there, but hey, can't argue too hard. It's better than going home for lunch and then going out again).

Yes, that's Patrick dipping an apple dipper in barbeque sauce.

And I forgot to take pictures of our Walmart cartful. Erin was melting down. She was done.

While I was putting stuff away, they found the grapes. Grapes are a hit at my house. Makes me feel better about the junky lunch.

We got home at 2pm, and watched How To Train Your Dragon (which was hiding under my diaper bag in the cart and I didn't actually pay for it, so it set off the alarm and I had to go back). And now I need to load the dishwasher and do some laundry....*sigh* I'm tired!

Feeling better...and worse.

2010-10-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Sunday afternoon after church instead of putting her back in panties when we got home (since she's not reliably going in the potty I didn't want to have her in panties at church), I just left her in diapers for the rest of the evening. And Monday morning until after lunch I did the same thing. It was really good for me, a nice break. So then we put panties on her and she went pee in the potty!!!! YAY!

But I think we both caught an intestinal bug. After 2 very messy accidents her part, and a couple rushed trips to the bathroom myself, I decided it would be best for the both of us if she wore diapers. I was right...Ugh. ((Patrick peed in the potty too! lol, but is having the same issues))

She seems to be feeling better this morning and is in panties again. I'm feeling worse though. My stomach is really upset, and I'm freezing/shivering convulsively. I don't actually have a fever though, according to the thermometer, so I don't know what's going on. Looks like today is a pjs and Disney day.

Anyway, yesterday evening Patrick and Erin found the diaper boxes I've saved (we're going to be moving *somewhere* [here in town] sometime after the new year, and diapers are a good way to get boxes), and we all know that boxes make the best toys, right?

The Potty Chronicles vol. 2

2010-10-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'm so beyond frustrated. I've tried everything and she's just not getting it. She goes a little longer between accidents, yes, but she's still not going in the potty (and that means her accidents are bigger). Last night I told her she could only take a bath if she went pee in the potty first. We spent about half an hour in the bathroom with her sitting on the potty. Nothing. So she didn't take a bath. I put her in a diaper for bed and she was wet within minutes.

I'm trying really hard not to be frustrated with her. I really am. I know that my frustration will just stress her out and only make things worse. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting really angry and I'm trying my best not to, but it almost feels like she's doing it on purpose to spite me. I'm pretty sure she's not, she just not understanding, but it just feels like it.

But I'm at my wits end. I don't know what else to try. I'm doing everything anyone has ever suggested to me. I'm so tired of poopy panties and pee on my floors. At least with diapers it's all contained!

Walk a mile in my shoes

2010-10-16T12:53:00.000-07:00

The Potty Chronicles

2010-10-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

Erin is proving VERY frustrating in the potty department. She's got great bladder control, she wakes up dry and can go several hours between times. But she just is not getting the "go sit on the potty BEFORE you pee" idea. She's gone on the toilet a couple of times, but most time I'll ask her if she has to go potty and then literally 2 minutes later she's wet her pants.

I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. And it's getting very frustrating. *sigh*

On a different note, I found Patrick in the bathroom this morning, pulling toilet paper of the roll and throwing it in the toilet and flushing. It reminded me of this:

Way Back Whensday

2010-10-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

Four years ago today Erin made herself known. My friend Aubri convinced me to go to my OB's office for a test after a couple negative home tests. The nurse who had been in the room when we confirmed Cora's death, Christy, was in the office that morning and was ecstatic to see me. She took me back into a room to talk to me. She said "There's a line. But it's so faint that I can't officially say it's positive." It was seriously about half as light as it is in this picture. You could barely see it. It darkened quite a bit by the time I got home. Anyway she finished by saying, "But personally, a line is a line. So, congratulations!" She gave me 2 more to use at home a few days apart.

I was so terrified. But that faint line also represented all my hope. Maybe, possibly, I would have a baby that I would get to take home.

The morning of the 15th I woke up from an extremely vivid nightmare that I was miscarrying. I ran into the bathroom, so relieved that I wasn't bleeding, and decided that the only thing that would calm me down was to test again. It was such a relief to see a darker line! The 16th was a Monday, so I used the last one for good measure and took them in to the Dr's office (I was supposed to use the second one on Monday, and the 3rd on Thursday). Christy was so excited to officially pronounce me pregnant!

slides

2010-10-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

After the Walk To Remember this morning, we decided to play a little.

We looked at the ducks, geese, and seagulls on the water of the lake.

And instead of walking around the lake (we decided it might be a little too much for the kids and didn't have the stroller with us) with the rest of the Walk participants, we went over to the playground.

I love these children!

Some faces you've been missing

2010-10-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

We went ahead and ordered another charger. Thankfully it came before Saturday, so we can take pictures at the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Walk to Remember. We aren't doing much but laundry today, but tomorrow we'll be out and about so hopefully more pictures!

the chiropractor

2010-10-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

So Matt and I this week went to the chiropractor for an evaluation. For those that don't know, I was in a car accident when I was 11 years old. I was riding my bicycle. Long story short, I lived (which is a miracle in an of itself) but didn't come out unscathed. Unfortunately I wasn't able to receive any followup care afterward. So for 15 years, I have been living with upper back/neck pain. I get headaches all the time, more often than not fairly severe.

So when I saw the tent outside Walmart with this office offering a free evaluation complete with xrays (okay, CO law says we had to at least pay for the price of the films, but they donated that money to the Children's Miracle Network) and first adjustment, I went for it.

And I love this office. Dr.s Judd and Craig go by their first names and are completely open and it's so easy to trust them. They incorporate physical therapy so that my core muscles will be strengthened as they straighten out my spine so that in the end I will be able to stop going to the chiropractor eventually.

I have to admit the xrays were kind of scary. I don't think that there is any part of my spine that is the way it is supposed to be. A normal neck curve is supposed to be 39 degrees. My neck has a 9 degree curve in the other direction. That explains the headaches. It may also explain my thyroid disorder, as Dr. Judd says that he has seen a high correlation (especially in women) between bad necks and hypothyroidism. The thyroid is in the neck and when the spine is out of alignment the nerves connecting it to the brain have signal capacity greatly reduced (up to 60% with the pressure of the weight of a coin). He says that he wouldn't be surprised if they have to reduce my thyroid meds before we're done. (Not that it'll cure me, but it might help).

Anyway, my shoulders are uneven, and my spine is kinked. One of the more worrisome things is that my pelvis is tiled. My right hip is lower than my left. It's probably that it's a postural thing, but there is the possibility that it might be that one leg is shorter than the other.

Anyway, I'll be doing some intensive care for the next little while. I'll be going 3x a week for the next 8 weeks, and then 2x a week for 4 weeks, and then they'll do xrays again. If everything is going well, I'll go 2x a week for 8 weeks and then once a week for 4 weeks and xray again. Hopefully then my spine will be straight. After that I'll go once a week for 12 weeks to "maintain" it and after that if I continue to do well, I'd only have to go in if I needed it.

I really wish I had copies of the xrays to post. It was rather interesting to see my insides. lol

Oh, also, we still can't find the charger. I thought Matt had ordered another one online but I was wrong, he was just looking. So...I'm going to see if any of the stores around here have one. The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Walk to Remember is on the 9th and I'll be heartbroken if we can't get pictures!

why no pictures?????

2010-09-23T06:50:00.001-07:00

Because my camera is dead and I can't find the charger. Hopefully we find it soon.

random pics and bum update

2010-09-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

So, it seems to me that it was the diapers doing it. After switching brands everything cleared up really fast. Of 3 large boils Erin had on the last post, she just has the scab of one left. I'm so relieved.

And pictures...lol

At the park on Saturday. She went all the way across (with daddy's help of course)

He wouldn't look at me

And he loves his bath. Don't you love what his hair does now??

I looked down and they were hugging each other. Of course, by the time I got the camera out, it was a wrestling match.

sewing projects

2010-09-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

I made this skirt for Erin

And this is her Halloween costume. She loves it

The Great Diaper Experiment

2010-09-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

So our brand of diapers was recently "new and improved" and since then the kids have been getting really bad rashes. Erin in particular has been getting large boils. Talking to my mother this morning about Erin, I realized (thanks to her really) that it's probably an allergic reaction to the diaper. So I went out and bought a different brand this morning.

By this evening Erin was running around the apartment again instead of just laying on the couch or moving around in a pained hobble. So I'm encouraged.

Please pray for my kids - Erin especially - that they'll heal from their sore bums soon!

Pretty Princess Tea Party

2010-09-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

Saturday Erin went to her friend Lily's birthday party. Here are a few highlights:
Getting prettied up

Trying to get a good pic of all 3 girls....yeah, not happening

but Lily was happy

Having cookies and milk

Danica decided to join and tell them about being a princess ("You get to wear uncomfortable dresses, and get locked in towers with dragons, and just sit and wait until the prince comes to rescue you, isn't it great?")

Patrick decided to crash

He's got a pretty new hairdo too.

Blowing out candles

And opening presents

Erin chose the My Little Ponies for Lily all by herself

And watching a movie after. Erin loved those earrings and was so frustrated that they kept falling off. Don't you love her chocolate mustache?

Because sometimes you just have to laugh

2010-08-30T20:24:00.001-07:00

I guess brothers laughing at sisters starts early...I was trying so hard not to laugh and shake the camera.

Sugar Cookies

2010-08-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

So, I got all excited for fall yesterday, so I dug out my autumn decorations (my generic ones. Most of them are either Halloween or Thanksgiving, but I brought out the ones that are just fall), and then decided to use my fall leaf cookie cutters.

I don't think we've made shaped cookies since Erin's really started helping with cookies, so she was really excited by the idea.

and of course, they both like the finished product the best.

Best scrapbook page EVER

2010-08-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

So, the forum I'm on has a scrapbooking section. They have a weekend a month where they post challenges. I missed August's, but I went looking through the challenges to see if I could be inspired by something. They had a movie challenge, to have a page inspired by a movie (poster, quote, etc). Well, I came up with this:

And another picture I just have to share.

We were at a store, and he saw this duster and just grabbed it. He LOVES furry stuff lately.

18 months

2010-08-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

Seriously? Has it really been a year and a half since this?

Or a year since this?

Or six months since this?

Patrick amazes me every day. He looks so grown up.

He's also talking more and more. Just today I confirmed to myself that he calls Erin "Yayay." Every time I called to Erin, he'd look at her and call "Yayay!" He calls Matt the normal "Dada" but he calls me "Mom-mom" rather than "Mama." He is also good that the nonsense words like "Yay," "uh-oh," and "whee." He says "wow," "dah-yee" (doggy), still says "tssss" for please, and "down." He also says "dood dob!" whenever he does something he's proud of, and he'll clap at me expectantly if I don't also clap and tell him "good job!"

He's recently mastered the art of straw drinking, and thinks it's the coolest thing ever.

Don't you love the way he wrinkles his nose???

And a video I uploaded a while back but forgot to put on the blog

And I also forgot to mention we got bunk beds! Erin loves loves loves her bed. We need to get a twin mattress for Patrick, though, so he's still on the crib mattress on the floor until further notice.

Meeting a friend

2010-08-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

Most people who know me know that I post on forums. Justmommies.com, in fact. Anyway, today I got to meet a JM friend! She and her father recently took her younger brother to the MTC, and they drove through Denver today on the their way home, so we met up with them for dinner. It was great to meet her in real life, and we just talked liked we'd been friends for, well, the last two years!

Erin and Patrick adored her. She's going to be a great mom someday.

The art of play

2010-08-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

It's really interesting to see the differences in the way Erin and Patrick play. Take blocks for instance. Erin haphazardly stacks them on top of each other, trying to see how high she can get the tower without really paying attention to how it'll balance. I think she enjoys it falling over as much as she enjoys stacking them.

Patrick, however, is very methodical. He starts with the thicker blocks so it's steadier, and always thinks a moment and then places the block very carefully.

This is his concentration face. Matt makes the EXACT same face.

Another good comparison is the slide. Erin is quite timid. She need to be holding a hand to go down (though by the end of this particular playground trip we got her to start going down herself)

She was celebrating going down all by herself: "I did it, Mommy! I did it!!" and jumping up and down.

Patrick, however, is a little too fearless for my own comfort. He was going down completely on his own within just a few minutes.

And we always love Gidget

My Hallween costume is done

2010-08-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

Catching up

2010-08-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

We went to Eldorado State Park on Friday for Matt's company bbq lunch. Google maps took us the wrong way, but we got some pretty pictures!

And when we finally got there, we let Erin and Patrick play in the water a bit.

Then Sunday I made the MOST fabulous blueberry pancakes ever for dinner. Patrick loved them. He ate four.

Erin didn't eat any. But she let me take a cute picture!

Mom! Take a pitoh!

2010-08-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Snickerdoodles and Gidget

2010-08-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

Erin and I made snickerdoodles yesterday during Patrick's nap. She loves to make cookies. I think it makes her feel grown up.
(Im)Patiently waiting while I un/loaded the dishwasher before we got started

Mixing

Enjoying the fruits of her labors

And she stole the camera and took this one of Matt

And after dinner we went out to run an errand. By the time we got back, Erin was completely asleep (an hour before bedtime). But our downstairs neighbor was outside with her dog Gidget, and Patrick was so excited I decided to let him play with her for a bit.

Our neighbor's grandson was over with his bike, and Patrick was very curious. At one point he put his hand on it and lifted his foot like he was going to try to ride it! He makes me laugh all the time.

He now does it on demand

2010-07-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

His crinkle-nosed smile that is. Well, you have to do it at him first, but he'll readily do it back. It's great.

And Erin was yelling "Mommy! Hewwp, I stuck!" from her bedroom. I go in there, yeah, she's just playing around.

Park Playdate

2010-07-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

Whoever invented Relief Society park playdates was a genius. I decided to go today, even though it was kind of hot, and I'm so glad I did. I didn't realize how much I need to just sit and talk to some other adults until I did. And the kids just loved running around outside with other kids.

Strawberries!

2010-07-28T16:13:00.000-07:00

I bought a container of strawberries today. I actually found one where all the berries actually looked good (none were fuzzy or squishy looking) and smelled good. Last time I bought strawberries I didn't get to them soon enough and they'd spoiled by the time I pulled them out of the fridge, so I cut them up as an afternoon snack after Patrick woke up.

Erin loves strawberries and immediately dug right in.

But Patrick wasn't too sure. First he had to smell it for a second, then licked it a couple times (on the uncut side...lol), and then gnawed a little.

But once he got a taste of the flavor the whole thing went in.

Then Erin wanted me to take a picture of Bunny. And then had to let Bunny try a strawberry.

Soon they'd emptied my bowl so I had to cut up the rest of the carton. Too bad Matt didn't get any, they were yummy. But I only got a couple myself.

Coloring

2010-07-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

Patrick keeps surprising me with more grown-up things. I don't know why it's so much harder for me that he's growing up so fast than it was with Erin. Probably because when Erin was this age I was already 5 months pregnant with Patrick.

He's recently started actually coloring, rather than just eating the crayons.

Erin loves her computer game. Here's she's coloring the whole screen black, and telling me about how good a job she's doing.

I love these giggles!

friend and rainbows

2010-07-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

Thursday night, Aubrey and her family spent the night on their way home from a 3 week vacation. It was a short visit, but it was very good to see them. I didn't get many pictures though!

That afternoon it rained, and we got the most spectacular rainbow. Erin was super excited about it.

Good thing Erin has two strollers...

2010-07-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

...because when she plays with one, Patrick can play with the other. ((Or actually, when Patrick plays with one, I can convince her to play with the other ))

And here's one from yesterday morning. They were watching a bunny down on the grass. Erin was SO excited!

When it's hot...

2010-07-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

...you go play in water. So that's what we did today. I admit, I took a 2 hour nap this afternoon while Patrick was napping, because it wore me out too!

Patrick loved being in the spray and got good and wet.

Erin just ran around in circles. She doesn't really like water spraying on her.

Erin was starting to get overheated so we moved to the lay river part so she could wade in the water. And I waded, too, leaving my camera in the dry area, so I didn't get any pictures of that, sorry!

Always getting bigger

2010-07-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

I decided I was tired of Patrick's big, stained, falling-apart high chair, so I got him a big-boy booster seat. He actually loves it. I think he likes not being separated from the rest of the family like he was, and it's a little bit easier for him to get down on his own too.

He looks so grown up. It almost makes me want to cry.

Dinner at the park

2010-07-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

We were invited to a barbeque in the park on Monday evening, and the kids loved playing!

Park Playdate

2010-07-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

My ward's weekly park playdates have resumed, and it was so great to get out of the apartment!

Musings on freedom

2010-07-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about freedom a lot lately (wonder why?) and what it truly is and means to me. I've spoken to many, many people lately who seem to think that "freedom" means "able to do whatever I want without consequences." It's really frustrating, speaking to these people online, trying to get them to realize that that idea is truly and wholly false.

Freedom isn't free. And I'm not referencing wars and lives lost in that statement, although I am so grateful to every person past and present who has fought, and in many cases died, to preserve the freedoms of our country and our safety. What I'm meaning here, is the personal price we pay ourselves.

Freedom is the ability to act in one's own best interest. The personal price for this ability is responsibility. Responsibility to accept the consequences our actions produce, responsibility to work for our own needs, responsibility to give up those things we want when it would bring harm to someone else. The only way we can truly not be inhibited when we chose to live out our lives is to control our lives, to not act on every impulse and/or desire. To control our reactions (emotional and otherwise) when someone else's agency to act interferes with our plans and/or hurts us.

True freedom is the ability to act and not be acted upon.

So that's what I'm working toward. I admit I do a fair share of reacting rather than acting. I allow circumstances to dictate in many occasions rather than stepping up and taking control of myself and my life. But I'm working on it. I hope that one day, I can truly be free.

the power of Sesame Street

2010-07-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

And Patrick has turned into Linus

Erin's fashion sense

2010-06-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

Erin recently got a package of accessories from Aunt Adi (thank you they're adorable!) I got her to pose...sort of. She's not one to wear things when you ask her to, it has to be on her own timeframe.

She's okay with the hat...though likes putting it on Patrick and laughing her head off better.

She's not a fan of the headband. I'm surprised she kept it on long enough for me to take the picture. She told me to wear it today...so I did.

But, she LOVES the flower clippies. I'm trying to tell her that putting on just one is okay, but nope...has to be all of them (she was tired of taking pictures by now, she wanted to hold the camera herself)

the zoo again

2010-06-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

We went to the zoo on Friday with Danica and her kids. It's getting to the point where I have to get creative about my picture taking since we've been so many times. But what can I say? We LOVE the zoo!

Erin and her sunglasses

Patrick's hair after I sunscreened his head

The four looking at the maned wolf. Patrick's in that difficult age where he WANTS to get out and walk, but doesn't follow anyone or even really walk holding hands.

Erin looking at the Siberian tiger

The kids in the reptile area, looking at snakes and lizards

The capybarra. This things was HUGE. It was about the size Princess (our black lab) was. She was small for a black lab, but this this is HUGE for a rodent!

They're building a new habitat for the asian elephants, and as part of the fundraising they're doing for it they're selling paintings done by the elephants themselves. If I had several hundred dollars to spare, I would buy one.

In the wagon, right before we left.

Arizona, and trip home

2010-06-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

There were lots of pictures from other people in the group on my laptop that I wanted to share, but the laptop wireless is no longer working, so I'll just do ours

Just after arriving at the cabin. Starting at the top, going clockwise, Audrei, Tyler, me, Telima holding Brooke, Katelyn, and Jared. Matt took the pictures, and the other kids were around playing somewhere. Marc and Ingrid hadn't arrived yet.

At the Grand Canyon visitor's center. Erin and Katy love each other (Katelyn took this pic)

First view of the rim. It's a really big hole in the ground.

These two girls were from Hamburg. They were going to the University of Colorado in Boulder. Small world, huh? Matt talked to them (in German) for a while. He's always looking for a chance to use his German.

Family picture to prove we were all here.

We left and on our own went to go visit the ruins nearby. This is a kiva (ceremonial room)

Pretty cactus flower

Another view of the canyon. It was SO WINDY

This is the Watchtower, built in the 1930s to provide the widest view of the canyon, but still "blend in" to the surroundings.

Great view from the tower

And one of our stops on the way home

What happens in Vegas...

2010-06-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

PICTURES!
It rained 3/4 of the trip down.

Erin using a blanket as a sun shield

splashing in the pool, getting her pants wet

and since her pants were wet, they had to come off

and then Patrick joined her

opening a present..

Shark reef

Running around with Grandpa

Grandparents and Grandkids...and me, since Patrick wouldn't let me let go of him

there are more pictures on the laptop, which I'll have to steal from Erin sometime later.

We're home

2010-06-22T08:38:00.001-07:00

And I have a ton of pictures to upload. But I just don't have the energy right now. Sorry.

Now it's my turn

2010-06-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

Double ear infection + sinus infection starting. Blah. I hate antibiotics. I think my ears felt left out. I don't think I've had an ear infection since I was 2.

And apparently the right ear, the one that's worse, isn't just the middle ear but the ear canal too. So bad that she's given me antibiotic ear drops on top of the pills.

Now I feel sick to my stomach and my sinuses HURT. And I've got so much to do so we can leave for Vegas early Saturday morning...*sigh*

Where Erin's been all day

2010-06-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

Poor thing doesn't feel very good still.

On another note, I could use some help on a little project I'm doing for Cora, so if you feel so inclined, could you please take a moment?

Erin's birthday adventures.

2010-06-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we rode the train downtown to have lunch with Daddy. Erin loves trains and is continually talking about them.

We walked down 16th street.

We asked her what she wanted for lunch, and she asked for hotdogs. So off to Biker Jim's Gourmet Hotdogs stand we went. It was fun to get lunch at a sidewalk hotdog stand. It made me feel like a Big City person. lol Biker Jim's dogs truly were gourmet. They had lots of different kinds. I had the Alaskan Reindeer (good, but not really like anything else I've had), Matt had the wild boar bratwurst, and Erin and Patrick shared a kosher all-beef hotdog.

Afterwards we went to get some fat-free frozen yogurt. I've never been a fan of frozen yogurt, but Matt told me I HAD to try this place. It's called Kuulture, and it's only location is here in Denver (though they're looking to franchise). And it was GOOD.

By the time we got home, both babies were sleeping

When dad got home we decided to go swimming, since it was hot and Erin loves swimming.

Erin's got a little vest that's supposed to help teach her how to float

And Patrick's got a penguin floaty. I couldn't help myself. I thought Aunt Adi would appreciate it.

When we came back, they watched a movie while I cooked dinner and decorated the cake

Erin wanted to open presents first

And then she was SO EXCITED about blowing out the candles

It was very yummy

The birth of Erin Rielle

2010-06-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today I was in labor. Actually, my clock says 8:42 and Erin was born at 8:48, so I was almost done with labor.

But Erin's birth story began on June 6th. I went in for my once-a-week OB appointment. My doctors (there were 3 in the practice) and I had already agreed that I would be induced on June 7th, at 38 weeks, since Cora died at 38weeks and 1 day, and I just couldn't handle the idea of going over that again. Since 38 weeks is full term, they agreed (but insisted on no earlier. Since I insisted on no later, there was only one day to choose from).

At that OB appointment, I was checked to see if my body was at a "favorable" point to be induced. It wasn't. I think I must have had a wild panicked look in my eyes because he was very quick to reassure me that there were still things that they could do, I would just have to go to the hospital that night instead of the next morning like I was scheduled. It was SUCH a relief to know that I wouldn't have to make it through another night wondering if I was going to wake up to an unmoving baby.

It was about 2pm and I was scheduled to go to the hospital at 8pm. So we went home, and leisurely got things together. We made sure that we had several outfits for Erin, the carseat, all the things I would need (like SOCKS! My feet FREEZE when I'm in labor apparently!).

It was good to be excited for labor. With Cora I was understandably dreading being induced, but the fact that Erin was kicking me very hard in the ribs still was AMAZING. I was so excited to meet her.

We went to Bajio for dinner, since it would be my last meal for a while. I think we had the nachos. We shared a plate but it was still a LOT of food. Probably not the best of ideas, actually.

We wandered up to the hospital, got there a little early, checked in, did all the paperwork. I was placed in a room and got changed and they tried to get an IV in....she got it on her second try, which is good for me, but it hurt if it wasn't just so so she spent 45 minutes taping it into place, and I still really couldn't move much. By that time it was 9pm, and the doctor who had seen me that afternoon was the one on call for the night, so he stopped in to check and see how I was doing. No change from that afternoon so they decided to place a foley catheter. A foley is basically a water balloon that fills to 2-3cm and dilates the cervix. I needed to be dilated to at least 2cm before they could start pitocin.

After the foley was placed (OW!!!), they gave me some ambien because, in the words of the nurse, "It'll make you pretty crampy and you're going to need your sleep." I fell asleep to the sound of Erin's heartbeat on the monitor. So reassuring.

Sometime between 1 am and 4 am (I'm thinking 2:30? can't really remember) I woke up and threw up all over the floor beside my bed. I still feel bad for my night nurse! When I called her, her response was a big sigh and "okay, I'll be right there." I wonder how often that happens.

At 4am she came in to check me and see how the foley was doing. To her surprise I was already dilated to 4cm and pretty thin, so she called Dr. Crouch and he gave her the okay to start the pitocin. I fell back to sleep.

Around 6:30 I woke up in pain. By 7am it was bad enough I decided I couldn't go through it alone and needed to wake Matt up. I remember yelling at him, but he says I was barely making any noise. Strange that one. Anyway, I was in a LOT of pain, and when the nurse came in she checked me. 7cm (yes, that makes it easy to remember, 4cm by 4am, 7cm by 7am), and I asked for an epidural. She started paging the on anesthesiologist on duty until the day shift came in. Unfortunately he was downstairs with my friend's 2-year-old son who was getting his tonsils and adenoids out and tubes put in his ears. That's the only reason I can forgive him his tardiness. He finally showed up at 8am, but got the epi in on the first try and pretty quickly.

I honestly don't remember them checking me again. Just suddenly the doctor was getting all his gear on and the nurses were bringing in tables. I vividly remember asking "Oh, are we ready already?" I was expecting it to still be a while. I pushed for 2 hours with Cora after all. But Erin was alive and helping and not wrapped up in her cord, so 15 minutes later there she was.

It's hard to describe how I felt at that moment. Relief was probably the dominant emotion. Relief that she was alive. I guess the only people who can really appreciate that are those who have delivered dead babies, but....I was so relieved. It wouldn't be another nightmare. Shock was the next biggest one. Was she really here? I really had a baby? What had I gotten myself into?

Joy came. And awe. I was in awe that I had made this perfect little person. I'm still in awe, actually. It's been 3 years and sometimes I still look at her and wonder where she came from.

In the baby loss community we call a baby who is born after a loss a "rainbow" baby, because rainbows bring color back into the world after a storm. And Erin certainly does that. There have been tears of frustration and pain, but even then, I'm so glad to have them. She brings such joy into my life.

Happy birthday baby girl. I love you.

It's 1:41 am...

2010-06-07T00:42:00.000-07:00

...and I just put Erin back to bed. She's thrown up 3 times so far, hopefully she won't again. Ugh. I'm waiting on the washer to finish so I can put everything she threw up on the first time in the dryer.

I smell gross...

While Patrick sleeps

2010-06-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

Patrick passed out during lunch

So Erin and I went outside for a few minutes to color on the sidewalk

Patrick's vocabulary

2010-06-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

My little guy has suddenly started talking more and more lately.

He says "Mom" and "Dada" and "up" all the time. He says "yay" a lot too, usually accompanied by clapping his hands. He occasionally says "hi," too.

Monday was a breakthough day for him. I've been asking him to say "please" lately, and on Monday when I asked him to, every time he answered "tssssssss." On Tuesday and on Wednesday he brought me his bottle or cup, handed them to me and said "tsssss" without me prompting him. So...I accept that.

Also on Monday, I realized he counts. I was carrying Patrick on my left hip, and Erin had my right hand and Matt by the hand. We were counting to 3 and swinging her up. After we were done, Patrick started saying "Oooooo-uh, doooo, DEEE!" He's done it several times since then, and will sometimes continue when you start with one.

It's amazing how much faster he's getting this!

Rocky Mountain National Park

2010-06-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

We spent yesterday at Rocky Mountain National Park. It wasn't as spectacular or Yellowstone or the Tetons, but it was still really fun and pretty.

We stopped at Super Target on the way out to get some jelly (I had forgotten to buy it earlier) and got some bagels. Patrick loved it.

On the way out, pretty purple little wildflowers

The little town of Estes Park, the RMNP analog to Jackson

Totally wanted to stop for some of those Homemade ice cream fudge candies. There were 2 other shops directly across the street

Jesus on the hillside...

Interesting scenery

Finally, the park entrance! Felt like everyone else in Colorado had the same idea we did!

Sheep grazing alongside Sheep Lake. Sorry about the bad pic

Fingerling mountains

LOVE this shade of green!

Stopped at the Moraine Park visitor's center. Erin got to be and earthquake and they both petted a beaver.

That ridge is the moraine. A moraine is the pile of rubble left behind in the wake of a moving glacier

Pretty little river

Stopped at Sprague Lake for lunch. Patrick was asleep when we arrived, so I just laid him on the table.

I was then mortified to realize I had grabbed the tartar sauce instead of the mayo.

Patrick woke up and had to have something to eat too.

And then we did a little exploring

We decided to take the 1/2 mile walk around Sprague Lake

this is my favorite of me

And my favorite of Patrick

Looking for fish in the water

We think they were rainbow trout

Mountains and sky on the way to Bear Lake (TOTALLY confused me...this is not the Bear Lake on the Utah-Idaho Border. This is another one)

Bear Lake...both kids trying to get away from me

Still mostly frozen over, but it wasn't that cold

Stopped for a horseback tour. I'd love to take one of these!

More mountains on the way out

ELK! I finally felt like I was in a national park! Too much time in Yellowstone...lol

Splash Park

2010-05-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

It was promising to be pretty hot today, so I decided to go to the splash park. I was so excited to try out Erin's new swimsuit.

Patrick's uv resistant shirt that I bought last year still fit, so no new suit for him.

Patrick LOVED the water

Erin just ran around in circles

And a picture from this morning before Erin woke up.

The Public Humiliation Diet

2010-05-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday Matt found this article and as he does with a lot of things, read it out loud to me. And it had an impact on me. I've been very frustrated lately with my lack of success in my weight loss effort. So I made this blog: http://brittslosingit.blogspot.com/

I don't actually care whether you read it or not. But it would help if you at least make me believe you're checking up on me! =p

I wasn't going to turn on the oven.

2010-05-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

I really didn't want to turn it on because it would make our apartment hot. We finally turned on the AC (thanks to the huge southfacing glass door that turns our front room into an oven), and I didn't want it to fight the heat of the stove.

And then Erin came up to me on the couch and smiled sweetly and said "Mommy, I make cookies witchoo?" How can you say no to that? Especially when you have a baggie of previously-frozen pumpkin in the fridge that really needs to be used asap?

So we made pumpkin cookies, using this recipe (minus the chocolate chips, which I didn't have).

Afterward I let her have a spoonful of dough, which she pronounced "nummy."

And then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, you uh-MAY-sing!" Granted, she's been calling everything amazing today (thanks to the movie Monsters vs. Aliens), but it still made me feel pretty good.

A trip to the zoo

2010-05-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to the zoo, just the babies and I. It was interesting to be able to just spend time with them doing something fun and unusual, without the distraction of someone else and their kids. I do love having a friend to go to the zoo with, but this was a lot of fun too. Unfortunately, I didn't clear off the memory card before we went like I had been thinking the night before, so we didn't get many pictures.
She liked the lions

A crested crane takes interest

Patrick liked the zebras

This peacock was VERY noisy. He kept yelling at everyone.

Erin wanted to pet the geese. I had to keep telling her they were mean.

To console her I let her take a picture.

And then we looked at the giraffes

Then we went up to look at the aquarium area that I'd never been to before, but it wasn't going to open for another hour, so we looked at the koi

And Erin made some friends

To get her to come back I had to let her take another picture

The bat-eared fox that I never realized was here

And she wanted to take another picture

And this was the only creature Erin could see in the red panda exhibit. I could see him, but he was back in a dark corner curled up asleep, so I couldn't get a good picture.

Erin had to climb up on this rock, but she did something to her knee. She didn't scrape it or anything, I can't see a bruise or anything, but she's still complaining her knee hurts.

So then Erin had to take another picture, and that's when the camera said there was no more room on the card. *sigh* There was supposed to be a baby okapi somewhere but we couldn't see him.

I really wish I'd cleared off the card, because we then went back to the aquarium/reptile area, and they had some really cool things, including a south american river fish that was about as big as me (seriously, the species is the biggest freshwater fish and can get up to 15ft long and up to 400lbs. These weren't nearly that big, but they WERE about as big as me!)

Anyway, I'll have to make sure that we go see the fish again next time we go!

I let Erin have the camera today

2010-05-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

A trip to Petco

2010-05-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

So we went to Petsmart first, but they didn't have what we wanted, so we went to Petco. They have a few novelties that Petsmart doesn't have. Like child-sized carts.

and small mammal cages that are easier to see the animals in. Erin like the guinea pigs. She calls them "rhinos." Why? Because on the movie Bolt there's a hamster named Rhino. Only, he's a hamster the size of a guinea pig.

Than we went over to the fish and got 5 ghost shrimp and a bamboo shrimp. I decided that shrimp would be better bottom feeders than catfish because they won't be aggressive to the babies. (Still not sure what I'm planning on doing with the babies. Matt's suggesting that I wait until they're a little bigger then feed them to cichlids...you know, breed our own cichlid food...)

So here's the aquarium now

and the bamboo shrimp

and one of the ghost shrimp. Needless to say, they're hard to take pictures of.

And for pure random cuteness, Erin reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"

Chinese food and bubbles

2010-05-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

We went out to a chinese buffet place yesterday, and Erin and Patrick got to try some new food which was fun.
Erin had to try the chopsticks

And Matt was playing with the crab claw and she wanted to do that too.

And Patrick stole my wonton, and loved it.

Then today I broke out Erin's bubbles on the porch. Yes, they're both naked. I took their Sunday clothes off before dinner and just never got around to putting clothes back on them. They've got another 40 minutes or so before I put them to bed, so I'll put pjs on them then.

Erin had to try to blow her own bubbles.

I love that she loves books

2010-05-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

Erin gets so excited about going to the library and she loves her library books. I had to get another card, because I lost my former one, so it had been quite a while since we'd been. But I got a new one while Adrienne was here, and we've been several times since.

Erin's definitely got her favorite books, and I agree with her. I actually don't know if she likes them more because I'm more animated when I read them or not, but certain ones she pics up more. Like "The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar," or "Hush, Little Dragon." The latter one I love, for more than just the fact that it's a dragon one. I picked it up because of the dragon reference, but I love the illustrations. I think the ones with the best illustrations are the ones I love them most.
She has started reading to herself.

And Patrick is getting so good at using a spoon!

But that doesn't mean he's good at getting it all in his mouth!

Babies!

2010-05-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

The only molly I actually picked out an individual ended up being the only female I got. I didn't want to be a pain since others were waiting, but I should have so I could have gotten one male and three females like I wanted. Oh well.

Anyway, apparently I picked well (she was obviously pregnant) because today we have babies! I've only seen two at a time, but I'm not sure whether or not they're the same two I keep seeing. I tried to get pictures.

The fish

2010-05-13T12:10:00.000-07:00

First we had to visit the dogs.

We got 4 mollies and a betta.

My new project, aka Erin's early birthday present.

2010-05-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

No, there's no fish in it yet. I got tired of the empty aquarium in my storage closet and decided Erin might be old enough to help care for it. So I got the table at Goodwill for $15 and ended up spending $53 on gravel, plants, a decoration, background, filter cartridges, and a new heater. It was at that point that I realized I should have done this for Erin's birthday. So tomorrow we're going to go get a couple fish (and exchange the filter cartridges because I accidentally got the wrong brand), and on her birthday we'll get another one and have it really be a birthday present.

Gotta love a Colorado spring!

2010-05-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

I woke up to this:

Granted, I knew it was coming and put my garden in the outside closet, but it's still a bit frustrating, it being May 12th and all. It didn't do this last year...

And Patrick, playing with his new toy:

a few days late

2010-05-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

So these pictures were actually taken on Saturday. Saturday morning I went with the Primary (I was recently called as a primary teacher) to take a tour of the temple grounds. The tour guide told the kids that if they wanted they could take a pinecone home, since the groundskeepers don't like them. I decided I'd bring one home for Erin because I thought she'd get a kick out of it.

I didn't expect it to be literal though. The first thing she did was throw it on the ground and start kicking it.

Later that day we went to Petsmart to see the animals and they had this pretty little hound mix named Dot for adoption.

The kids loved her, and she was SO SWEET.

the park and the "garden"

2010-05-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

So yesterday we took a trip to the library, and that meant that we had to go play at the park for a bit.

Right after that we went to visit the doctor because Erin's been complaining about her ears and they've both had runny noses (which I'm fairly certain is allergies and Dr. McKitterick agreed with me there). They both have double ear infections. That makes 6 ear infections for Erin in 14 months (always her right ear, but not always her left), and 3 (all double) for Patrick in 7 months. We decided to see if the warmer summer months bring a break (though Erin did have one in the middle of the summer last year), and if not we'll definitely go see an ear, nose and throat specialist. I actually went to the Sunflower Farmer's Market today to get some probiotic powder because they've both got diarrhea from the antibiotics, and talked to the lady in the herbal supplement/homeopathic remedies section (she worked there) who helped me out a bit. I gave her my address so that she can send me a packet on homeopathic treatments for ear infections. I'm quite interested, actually, so I hope I find it helpful.

Anyway, I also wanted to show off my "garden" It's not much, being that we live on a second floor apartment, but I've discovered that green things make me happy. Especially when they bring the possibility of yummy things to eat.

Help!

2010-05-07T09:38:00.001-07:00

Erin's birthday is a month away, and that means I need to get working on her video. But I have no idea what songs to use!

For her first birthday I used "When you tell me that you love me" by Diana Ross (actually, it was the American Idol version)
For her second birthday I used "When I See You Smile" by Bad English and "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts

For Patrick's first birthday I used "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed(?) and "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith.

So, any suggestions??

Erin's dinosaur

2010-05-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

So I finished Erin's dinosaur and Mom wanted pictures, so here you go!

And my dragon. He still needs to be antiqued.

A walk in the park

2010-05-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, not really a walk, but in the park nonetheless. We finally had a gorgeous day again, so we had to take advantage of it. Knowing this area, it'll snow tomorrow! (okay, not really. I just checked the forecast and tomorrow supposed to be sunny, but really windy)

It was really fun to get out a bit. But we then went to the store to buy more benedryl (well, generic brand anyway, considering that the name brand kids' medicines have all been recalled! Good thing I normally buy generic anyway!) Poor kids have my allergies. Especially Patrick. :(

Can you see his crusty nose?? Poor kid. :(

Happy birthday Cora!

2010-05-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Cora,

I can't believe it's been four years. It seems like it's been so long, my memory of you feels like it's so dim sometimes. The impact you've left in my life will never fade, however. I think about you every day. Your little sister and brother bring such joy into my life, but I sometimes can't help but wonder what life would be like if you had been able to stay.

I know the work you are doing is important though, and I know that we will be reunited some day. What a glorious day that will be. The life expectancy for a woman born my year is about 84 years, so I have about 57 more years to go before I see you again.

I am happy, as much as I can be, with my life as it is now. Though I don't understand fully why, I have accepted that you couldn't stay with us. But I still miss you, and on days like today I miss you most. There is a quote that I love and that I hold on to:

"First, please know that grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid the grief would be to not experience the love; and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning. Hence, what a grieving parent can expect to receive from the Lord in response to earnest supplication may not necessarily be an elimination of grief so much as a sweet reassurance that, whatever his or her circumstances, one’s child is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father."
~Lance B. Wickman

I will love you forever, angel girl. That means I'll miss you for the rest of my life. I hope you have a happy birthday, whatever you're doing.

Love always,

~Mommy~

Passing it on (and a great deal!!)

2010-04-30T15:03:00.000-07:00

So today I decided to take the long trip to the ceramics store. I was broken hearted to discover that it's going out of business and closing on Sunday. *sob* But the good part was all the bisque was 75%! So I got 2 dragons and a dinosaur for Erin for $22.50 (would normally have been $90.00. Yes it was a bit overpriced to start out with, but you can't argue with what I got them for!)

This guy

Is going to be painted like this guy

And these two? No clue yet

And here's Erin's dinosaur

And her painting her dinosaur

And her talking about painting her dinosaur

At one point she told me "I like painting! I like to paint my dinosaur." That's when I decided I had to get a vid.

Found my camera!

2010-04-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

(okay, I admit, most of these are Adrienne's)

Thursday we went to the library for story time and then to the park just outside

Friday we went to museum of nature and science. It was raining as we ran in so the kids were kind of wet at first.

Friday we went to play at the playground in my complex

Yesterday we went to a little cafe playground place where the kids could run around and play indoors, it was pretty cool.

And some of the babies that Adrienne took that I love.